If you have children, there will come a day when they up sticks and leave home.
Parents mostly face a day when their children leave their homes and start living alone in a different place. Whether due to work or relationships, this sense of emptiness is a huge thing for parents.
Eventually, children leave their homes after a certain stage, and this can be the end of usual habits for both the children and their parents. The feeling of loneliness, sadness, and loss creates a difficult situation for parents.
Here, we look at how empty nest syndrome can affect you and how parents can cope with this transformative stage in their lives.
What is empty nest syndrome?
Empty nest syndrome is a transitional stage experienced by middle-aged parents when their children leave home. The condition is characterised by feelings of sadness, loss of purpose and fear or difficulty in redefining their role in life. This can, if it goes unchecked, lead to negative effects such as stress and depression, alcoholism, identity crisis and marital conflict.
Empty nest syndrome can happen to anyone regardless of whether you have a partner or not. It is not like if you have a wife or husband, you will not face it. So, it is a common experience for parents from any place.
Parents feel lost when they come across this difficult situation. Both wives and husbands face the issue at the same level.
Contrary to popular belief, for those who do experience adverse symptoms, it can be men, not women, who suffer most. More women now have careers compared to when empty nest syndrome was defined a century ago. Compared to 1924, many more women in 2024 now have a purpose beyond the narrow definition of motherhood.
But there are still many parents, particularly full-time ones, for whom parenthood is integral to their sense of identity. When they cannot assume that role, it can trigger insecurity and self-doubt. So, it easy to see why empty nest syndrome can affect some more than others.
If you are facing such a syndrome, don’t worry! It is quite common. Feeling sad or lost or empty is okay for some time when there is an existing reason behind it.
However, it is also essential to take care of this issue. You need to take some prominent steps to cope with your feelings in such a condition and move forward.
And there are ways to survive and thrive.
How to deal with it
When your kids leave home, you may go through stages of grief followed by relief and then joy. The latter may kick in because often empty nesting can be a positive time for parents, an opportunity for reconnection and a time to rekindle interests.
And remember, when your children do leave home, it is not cut and dried. Whether they have left for work or college, there are so many ways to keep in contact – online chat, email, better transportation links – that the sense of loss needn’t be as acute.
Many parents find this period to be one of increased satisfaction and improved relationships. So, stay connected with your children who have just moved out of your house. It is a great choice to encourage a positive relationship with them while dealing with longing.
For instance, texts, regular phone calls, and video calls will increase the bond between you. And you might find it to be a more appropriate relationship and bond with your child than you might have ever experienced.
But remember, fleeing the nest must happen at some point, and usually, it will be a planned departure. So, plan your future life before they leave. What will you do with all that extra free time? Think of all those goals and interests you may have shelved due to looking after your kids. Hobbies and activities you may have wanted to pursue are now within your grasp.
If your kids have left home, why can’t you? You could check out an equity release calculator to see if you can free up funds to go travelling or even buy a second home abroad.
Think about it!
What are those lost hobbies that exist for you today as well? You have plenty to think about, and now it is time for you to increase your satisfaction level in life by thinking only about yourself.
Also, try to focus on your physical and mental health and well-being. Eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly and join a club to ensure less depression and anxiety.
Look at your relationship with your spouse. This is an opportunity for you both to rediscover things you may have lost over the years. Did you stop doing things together as a couple? Then, rediscover what you enjoy doing together; now, you no longer need to do things out of parental necessity.
